I was seven days a week taking care of him getting more and more depressed I was forgetting maybe to take care of myself if we are going to care for our loved ones then we first have to care for ourselves respite care was our Savior and they came to help us woody being in respite care has probably saved my life [Music] wrested is a break it's an opportunity for a caregiver to have some time for themselves so they can continue to care for the person that they love if we do not let these people have an opportunity to take a break they can no longer care for the person that they love well Alan is my oldest son he's 15 years old and he has a real palsy when he was little it was kind of difficult to me to understand the whole process that involves his disability and his care and it's kind of difficult to do it or to do the things that you used to do before you have a child with a disability it is good to know that nothing is going to happen or you're not a bad mom just because you're having somebody coming to your house and help you with your child and I think he's also getting the benefit from because he has a happy mom and it's also healthy it's healthy for me it's healthy for him I think it's healthy for family you know my husband woody is 75 years old we've been married for 45 years when he was diagnosed with dementia it was probably the most depressing day in my life the way that I care for woody at home especially after the first diagnosis was probably to mothering him too much and then I realized the more independent that he could be the better off he would be so Woody's life has improved tremendously since we started the rest of the care woody being in respite care has probably saved my life because I was seven days a week taking care of him getting more and more depressed respite carries for the caregiver and it's really so they can either go take a nap which a lot of them need to because they're working 24/7 or a lot of people go to work so we're a safe place to leave their loved one that's having fun and being loved well they can go do what they need to do respite has never been about replacing the primary caregiver it's always been about making sure that primary caregiver can sustain and have an opportunity to refresh so that they can continue to care for the person that they love Louis during the military at age 15 he was so excited about going into the army that he decided to finish high school fast lewis was injured on november 14 2011 as he was serving his third tour in afghanistan he suffered multiple injuries including brain injury and back in February this year I got sick and I ended up in the hospital he wasn't sure how we will take care of Louie at home and then going to visit Sonya at the hospital respite care was our Savior and they came to help us and they made the difference for us because as I was in the hospital you know knowing that somebody else was here helping Julio makes it a lot easier for me bye mom my mother is 82 years old she's a wonderful fun-loving person she's just a joy in our lives she's actually been diagnosed with dementia being a caregiver to me especially for my mother means the opportunity to give back so much of what she's been to me and my family if we are going to care for our loved ones then we first have to care for ourselves and so part of that is being able to have some downtime to relax to get out and do the things that that we need to do so that when you are with your loved one you will definitely be recharged you will be recharged in a way that will allow you to have a more quality time with your loved one often we don't think of ourselves as caregivers as needing a break we think that we're okay it is the person with a disability or the person with the need that you feel they need all the attention they need all the care but it's just like the oxygen mask on the airplane if you cannot take the oxygen mask put it on yourself first you're not going to be helped help to be able to serve or preserve the well-being of the person who you are caring for we need to make sure that respite is not something that people feel guilty about they feel irresponsible if they take that break it's not irresponsible it is not something to feel guilt over it's nothing to feel sadness over it is important for you to continue to be able to care for that person you love you have to take that break you need to self preserve having someone else looked after your loved one is a tough decision because no one looks after them the way you do or at least you think they don't there are people out there who really have a heart and a desire and so trust that there are folks out there with a good heart who have a desire to give we are so thankful to rest better care for being here when we needed them the most having respite gave me the chance to do something for me for myself the first step is realizing that you need help that is a huge step for a parent or a caregiver to realize so first realizing that you need help is step number one in some instances they take better care of their loved one than you do and they may give them more of what they need in some aspects than what we do as a caregiver [Music] [Music] you
